Go Where Few Have Gone Before

Today I ventured out with my Adventure Buddy JimFab to tackle the Hassayampa. The goal was to ride from I-10 to Wickenburg, in the Hassayampa River bottom. We did not have a gpx track to follow, we just decided to ride where ever we felt like and follow the sand. We did not know how many miles it would entail, and we certainly did not know how long the ride would take. Pretty certain no bike tires had been on our intended path.


Did we make it? NO. We ran into deep sand at about 13 miles in, and fighting a head wind, with quads about to explode while riding the SS Fatbike. We adjusted our plans, and adapted to a new adventure. Below is the list. Why the list? Because I rule by the list and dominate from the middle of the Back of the Pack. That's why. Oh, and I am tired of structuring proper paragraphs.

Quotes
"This ride is like a perpetual hill! I haven't stopped pedaling in 3 hours. We haven't coasted yet!"
"The wash is more "washy" than I thought it would be."
"Are we trespassing?" "That sign doesn't say do not enter." " That one does though."

1. Fatbikes make you smile.
2. Fatbikes are heavy.
3. Fatbikes in deep sand seem even heavier.
4. Fatbikes in deep sand, pushing into a hard head wind, up hill on SS is ludicrous.
   
5. Self Supported Fatbiking into the desert with no water is tough. If you don't want to carry any gear, stick to your local Thursday night ride where someone else will carry your spare tube, pump, snacks and repair kit.
6. I'm tired of typing "Fatbike".
7. I never get tired of jumping gates and barb wire fences.
8. 37 miles. 6:25. Moving Avg 7.7. Total Ascent only 1465. Sand -tons. If you want the real "Data" you better click on over the B.P.R. main page and wait for the Philosofizer. I don't do "The Data Dump"...mainly for legal reasons.
9. I was disappointed I didn't' see any Rednecks, dead bodies, or people burying dead bodies.
10. If a wash is 2 miles wide, and neither of the riders have a gpx track to follow, chances are they will get separated at some point and wander around looking for one another. Maybe.
11. Maybe...we should have thought about riding downhill? North to South.
12. Picture dump below.
    

I was told to always add a song or video to the posts so we don't bore the viewers. I rarely listen to people, but today I'll make an exception...for B.P.R. If you even made it this far?

If at work...turn the sound way UP!

(NOT SAFE FOR JUNIOR B.P.R. MEMBERS) (clean parody)

I'm Awesome

Fat Bike the Beach

Things Rhino learned, while crushing the rigid SS Fat Bike around the gulf in Galveston, Texas. In a list, because I rule by the list.

1. Fat Bike is the most fun you can possibly have with your clothes on.
2. This chubby bike makes me giggle when I ride.
3. If you ride in the salt water and micro-fine sand at the gulf, and don't wash the bike for 2 days, you will seize the drive train.
4. The Fatty needs rebuilt after every beach trip, assuming you like to roll through the waves.
5. Riding half naked is the way to go. Co-ed naked Fat Biking would be better, maybe.
6. If you have a major issue standing still while your girl puts on your Bullfrog Lotion before you ride, you just might have a really silly spotty tan. I mean sun burn.
7. Cliff Bars taste different covered with sand.
8. Dogs off the leash on the beach don't give a shit about you, unlike the idiot dogs on the trails. Beach dogs must be more chill?<br>
9. Fisherman litter, big hooks...and look at you funny when you roll by.<br>
10. Homemade Rhino Juice can seal a huge treble hook in a tire. Pulling out said fishing hook is not advisable.
11. Bullfrog Lotion burns your eyes.
12. Riding over the dunes never gets old.
13. Always have an answer for: "Why are your tires so big?"
14. Beach bikepacking is on my future trip to-do list.
15. I found it hard to find Rigid Singlespeeders to join B.P.R. Arizona, and probaly even more rare to find Rigid SS Fat Bikers to join the B.P.R. Ludcracy.

B.P.R. SS Chicks

What does a member of the Back of the Pack Racing do when he wants to ride his Singlespeed more? Easy......

Builds his Foxy Mama a Singlespeed to join him.

29 INCHES
SINGLE
AND RIGID

B.P.R. SS Chicks...not to be trifled with.

B.P.R. Cog Buckle - Sneak Peak

The B.P.R. Cog Buckle has arrived. This is the Sneak Peak Teaser.




We don't give these out to just anybody. You got to earn it.

The Coco Macho 200 might have earned you a buckle.

The Casner Mountain Dirty Century might earn you a buckle.

And...the Cochiti 100 might also earn you a buckle.

Zone 2 will not get you a buckle.

More info to follow.

Rhino and the Drunkcylist Gorilla

Whiskey Off Road - 50 Proof was last weekend.


I may have raced, and I may not have. My lawyers are telling me to not talk about it.

IF...I was there you know I would have rocked the full rigid singlespeed 29er.

IF...I was there I probably would have finished the 50 Proof race in 5:52. Which might have been more than an hour better than my best time, but still not close to the mutant leaders.

IF...I did race the 50 Proof, you know Rhino would have been on the hill, heckling the Pros, and slanging with with the Drunkcylist Dirtybiker Gorilla.

IF...I race the 50, it was certain I would have taken advantage of the PBR tallboy handup on the clogged singletrack conga line.

Was I really there? I don't remember. Will I be there next year...only if I can find a sponsor and hang with the Dirty Gorilla again.

B.P.R. Adventure - Coconino 200ish

I somehow managed to survive another B.P.R. Adventure. No regrets on this trip, well maybe.

Well, if you been around here long enough, you already know The Philosifizer, The Hustorian, The Judd, tells stories and defines reality. Click on over to The B.P.R. main site for the Adventure recap and pictures. Below are some of my random thoughts floating around.

It was true that I put together most of the logistics of the Coconino trip. However, credit given where credit due. I had lots of help. The Coconino Loop pretty much already exists as a stage race with the Arizona Endurance Series. We just modified the loop slightly due to weather and emotions, and the Uno Cog. Thanks goes out to:

Chad B - one of the master minds behind the Coconino 250 and the A.E.S. Managed to run into Chad in the rain the week prior at a Landscape Nursery in Tucson for last minute advice. Dude, gives great advice on where to get good burritos.

Scott M - thanks for the late night emails on GPS and tracks, and don't know what I would due without Topofusion.

Troy M - thanks for the emails and weather beta in Flagstaff. You motivated me.

James The Maadjurger - thanks for what ever you do, only you can do it, and it seems to help.

The List
1. Judd's a mess without a GPS to play with.
2. 200' feet of rope for 200 miles of bike riding is not necessary.
3. The Morale Chairman can hide a huge bag of chips in his pack without destroying them.
4. The entire bar in Sedona was trashed.
5. Smart Guys bring sun tan lotion. Tough Guys harden up and don't borrow sun tan lotion. Rhino has nasty sunburn - you figure it out.
6. No flat tires or mechanicals.
7. Water Filters take way to long to fill up 3 liters, I just just used tablets and I'm still alive (check back in 5 days).
8. The night before the Adventure a game is played: Who can dump the most $hit from their packs right before a ride. It was a close race between The Judd and The Morale Chairman. (see number 2)
9. Prob-eee seems to be along for the ride, even when he's not along for the ride. "Awesome"
10. After 4 days of riding, we stunk pretty bad.

The Pictures - I dumped the pictures if you are interested. Disclaimer: riding a rigid Singlespeed is not smooth. Pictures may be blurry. Deal with it.

Failure Is Not Our Option

There has been some talk of FAILURE around the B.P.R. head quarters recently. I'm here to tell you from the B.P.R. AZ Charter, we don't acknowledge FAILURE. We don't quit and we don't give up. Don't get me wrong, we have our bad days on the bike like anyone else, and teeter-totter that fine line of almost dieing due to dehydration, muscle cramping and the demons. What B.P.R. AZ does is change the game. That's right, we do what any 6 year old would do when things are not going according to The Plan, change the game. It's like when you are playing Monoply and you land on a space with like 4 hotels and you are about to go bankrupt and lose the game. What you do? I don't know what you do, but what we do is "accidentally" kick the board and spill your beer (that is correct, your beer, not my own, sucker). Game over. You didn't lose, you didn't quit, and you certainly didn't give up. You can't help it that some a$$hole kicked the board and spilled your beer. Game changes, and we never quit.

So for us...
Failure is Not Our Option

Since life is like a game, or a big race, and obviously the Elders are keeping score, I thought I would do my best to turn in an accurate score card this week, with some pictures.

Thursday Night Recreational Fun Ride - I mean RACE.
Fantasy Island North Shore

It isn't easy showing up to a Thursday night race loaded with full bike bags for training, lineing up against a bunch of Short Track XC Lycra dudes with massive gears. I calculated it was 567 gears to my one. I'm already a winner.

F.I.N.S Score

Showing Up = 1
29 Inches, Single and Rigid = 3
Bike Bags = 3 (1 for each bag, backpack excluded)
Sub-Total = 7

Sierra Estrella Training Climb - I mean RACE.

Decided to load the bags up again and put some climbing miles in over at Sierra Estrella and test out some new gear.

Switch Backs on P.A.W.

White Quartz

Rhino Homebrew Sealant = Success

Stopped by to see some kind of dancers at the Rodeo. It might have actually been Capoiera, but if nobody is getting punched in the face or kicked in the ribs, it's dancing to me. B.P.R. is no stranger to dancing , but I'm sure you didn't forget. Correction, that was a hard core workout, not dancing. No giggling.


Testing out the new Hike-a-Bike shoes. These are the Tahoe models, but for the next few weeks they shall be referred to the "Mingus" Model.

Estrella Score

Showing Up = 1
29 Inches, Single and Rigid = 3
Bike Bags = 3 (1 for each bag, backpack excluded)
Not crying about feet hurting with new shoes = 1
Rocking Homebrew Sealant = 1
Sub-Total = 9

Black Canyon Trail - I mean RACE.

Got a free ride up to the BCT and road the Emery Henderson Trailhead.

What do you think the lime green tree indicates over there? I've watched a few Bear Grylls shows.



This is the most beautiful site in the desert. I discovered this spring off the trail a little ways. The water was clean, cold and tasted great.

Single Track through some old Saguaros.

Bike Rock Art

BCT Score
Showing Up = 1
29 Inches, Single and Rigid = 3
Bike Bags = 1 (1 for each bag, backpack excluded)
Finding Spring in Desert = 5
Sub-Total = 10

Summary
According to my accurate math skills I calculate that my score card for the weekend should be a total of 41 points*

*points under review and currently waiting authorization from the B.P.R. Dictators.

yeah. win.